The gun

     Well, I am here again posting before my final exam finally finishes. OMG I slack off for 4 whole days and did completely nothing but glee and movies. There was an episode on glee that was about school shooting. All the characters were so afraid that that time as it might be the last time they will be meeting each other. The tension of the episode was so high that you starts to wonder what if something like this happen to you. You are attending in a class with friends, enemies and people who you don't pay attention to and suddenly you hear gun shots. You saw somebody holding a gun and is trying to open the class doors. What would you do?

    For me, I think I will try to hide my fears first then maybe burst into tears as I know life is going to end. Then I thought that feeling of that scenario is what I used to feel. Scared most of the time and knowing that life is hanging by the thread. The only catch was that there is another gun at your hand and you know you can end this once and for all.

  If anyone wanna understand why some people can't get over it, try imagine you in that situation where you are stuck during a school shooting and the gun is in your hand. You may think you have a chance to shoot the shooter but the fear is too overwhelming that you wouldn't think of that. Instead you will think of ending your life. That's the feeling that you feel when you think that the shooter or your demons is stronger than you. You don't think you can overcome it or whatever gender it is especially when you are all alone in the class and not knowing that there are other people around you.

    The fear is the one that test our courage. Courage is never attainable but its tested again and again until you take your last breath on earth and enter to another state. If you have the courage to just shoot the shooter or that demon haunting you, you will have no such fears. You will be better and live a happier life without fear although its ghost will come back and haunt you again after the shooting. 

Shake it off

   No, I am not meaning the Taylor Swift new song but the glee version of the song. I love that song since I was young but I couldn't understand it until last night when I watch back the glee episodes. I finally understand what is the meaning of shaking off the devil in me. I love the lyrics. It meaningful in every way and in every verse. Especially this part:

Every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always the darkest before the dawn

and

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and restart

    The message of the song is that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Remember that its always the darkest before dawn and if you think you have no heart or  a cold heart, do remember that you can restart it. I just love the way this song sings to me. Because of this song, I went for a jog in the park so I can restart my broken shattered heart. When I was jogging, the song of Fort Minor; Remember the Name just popped and sing to me. I will always remember the verse that says:

Its 10% luck, 20% skill, 10% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure and 50% pain and 100% to remember the name. I must motivate myself to pass through this stage of life in that's the last thing I do in this life.