Saturday, February 14, 2015

Reverse, Pause, Play, Forward and Shuffle

    You people must be wondering why my title today is super duper weird. Well, I discover that the music player setting can show you the rules of life.

     The first rule is to reverse. Remember back your roots, remember why were you born and why you exist on this planet Earth. If you had no idea like me, you can think and assume that you are born with a purpose, Everything happen for a reason. When something happen, its ripple will show its effect. You don't have to be the next noble prize winner or somebody famous to create such ripple. Just like my little sister. She was born out of a mistake but she is not a mistake in my life. She is my rock although it seems the other way around. Without her, maybe I am not in my physical form anymore. Without her, dying doesn't seem so cruel.

    The next rule is to pause. Stop whatever you are doing now and just live in the present moment. For somebody like me, it is an impossible task. I can't live in the present. I always think of future events or dig up some past event. Everyday when I cycle to Uni, I won't look at the beautiful surrounding, instead I think of the future or even the past. Sometimes I giggle while I cycle when I think of a funny situation.

    Okay, so the 3rd rule is play. No matter how hard life hits you, you must know that life move on. If you are sad for 60 second, 1 minute of happiness is thrown out of the window. The father time will not stop time just for you, the clock will continue on ticking and ticking until maybe after you die, you won't feel the effect of time. But as long as you are still breathing, your body clock is still ticking.


    The 4th rule is forward. Although like what I say that we need to live in the present. We must also plan our future. Sometimes, our plan don't work and then frustration and anger comes along but at least you tried. I would like to confess that my schedule of anything will never work. There will always be something that comes along like a bull and crash my schedule. My future plans do seem to frightening to some and some of my friends advises me to change my future goal as its too stressful and too ambitious. For me, its my plan and I will try my best to achieve it although I might die in the process due to exhaustion.

   The last rule is to shuffle. What is the meaning of shuffle? Shuffle back your memories when you feel bored. Remember your favourites and just play them. For me, memory of skies full of stars are the best for me, When I was in camp, I could see the skies filled with stars. Do you know why I love stars? Its because I feel that the stars are accompanying the lonely moon. When I see so much stars, I feel that the moon is not lonely and I am also not alone although some situations make me believe I am alone and useless.

    Well cheers and have a great weekend with loved ones as its Valentine's day and OMG fifty shades of movie is out and I am so bloody in love with the new Avril Lavigne song which is Give what you like!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! Fan girl screaming hehehe.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

So WHat?!

     Omg with the constant pressure from people to be perfect, I am definitely am somebody who don't care about her appearance or how I should treat somebody. My motto life is if you treat me good, I will treat you the same way. If you cross me once, I will still forgive you but if you cross me twice, that's it Bitch or Son of a Bitch. I won't talk to you anymore. I am not hard to understand. I just don't think that you should be treated the way you think you should get.

    PS: All this anger is because somebody scold me through Facebook. Do you balls?? Scold in front of me please. You are a guy! Even I wonder if I have more balls than you. You think you are great ? You think that you are brave to scold me through internet. At first, I got a bit sad but screw you. I think back of all the great and wonderful people who know me and love me. Who are you to scold me ? The worst part of all is that an unknown person scolded me. I don't even freaking know you?? At least let me talk to you then screw me. WTF?? I am super duper steam up.

     OMG I will show the world that I can do it. Generate those hate people. I am going to prove you wrong!! I may not be as clever as Einstein or as brave as a soldier but I will be me and I will be true to myself. Your insults will break my bones but I will continue to move on and prove that you are wrong. Do you think that you are few of my  haters? Join the community of haters who hate me. Even my own family member hate me. So what? ! 

Monday, February 2, 2015

Great memories are there to be cherish

      Beautiful memories leave its breath in my heart. I really love great memories. Thinking about it make me smile and sometime I will laugh my heart out with these memories. Till now, I had a lot of bad memories but today is just one of those days where memories just become light in the darkness.

     My camp just ended. Although there was bitterness during the preparation was present at that moment, the aftermath of the camp was just great. When all the participants thank you for organizing such great camp, your heart tend to melt a bit. I really love this feeling. I really bring out my inner self that I was hiding from the world. The girl that likes to have fun and not worry. A girl that can M-字腿 or move her butt, dance to oppa gandam style and harlem shake just for the sake of fun. How I wish I could be such a person when I return back to my campus life. I love how I was super high and manage to conduct the program flow according to plan. 

     But that wasn't the only thing that happen to me, beautiful memories continue to flow in. Today I woke up late for my quiz and call my friend. This guy is the most caring friend in the world. I cried instantly when I heard the quiz was over and I can't do it. He tried his best and contacted the lecturer to have a replacement for me. When I took the quiz, I nearly teared up and cry as my heart melted again as the quiz was in soft copy and he helped me write it down and give me some hint like which part is the correct one. I really could feel how warm a friendship was. I wanted to feel something like that for so long. Somebody to care for me. I love when people care for me. I was born in a scenario when care was not there and to feel something like this after a long time make me happy. 

     While I was writing this blog post, tears of happiness was flowing down from my face thinking how lucky I am to have such beautiful memories. I love this moment and I hope it will not go away. I just want these to last for eternity. When I take my last breath from the world, I will remember these memories. The memories that will last in me for a lifetime.