Hello, fellow readers, I know I haven't post anything for a long time now. It is because I was so busy with my academic that I forgot my love for writing. Today was a great day. How I hope I can imprint this day to my head forever. If I were to take my last breath on this earth, how I hope that I will remember such memories with my housemate, Miow Chyi and her friends(Janet, Mandy and Jing Wei). I am like having a writer block and I really need to express it out so I can sleep. Here it goes:
Just like how the raindrops fall on her head, she feel the coldness like everybody else. While other runs and keep themselves dry, she embrace the rain as it was the only time she could cry. She did this for so many years and it continued up to her university life. All the pressure and the heartaches just mount and mount on top of her till she can't breath or even scream for a help. "Why can't you be more skinny? Why can't you just study more? Why can't you be the perfect daughter I want? Why can't you try to be a more productive person? Why can't you ? Why can't ? Why? " are all she hears everyday. She starts to wander into the sky and seek for answer. But nothing came out. Like a detective she began to wonder why to all the question and tries her best to answer them.
But the answer turns to hate. Hatred to her body, hatred to her mind, hatred to the world and epecially hatred to herself. She began to wonder why she exist and if she leave will anybody care for her? Slowly and slowly she fights the battle at night while remaining happy in the morning and especially in front of people. She was always taught "Don't be weak." The battle at night was so bad it wounded her. With every wound she fought, the darkness of the world start seeping into her mind. The darkness becomes her friends and start to talk to her. It was all fine at first and she gotten used to the voice until the voice started to suffocate her with more hatred to herself and more hatred to the world. The voices often say " Come with me to the other side. Its much more cheerful and wonderful. Don't suffer here anymore." She couldn't help it and she know she have no more strength to fight with her voices. She began screaming for help as she knows she is drowning.
She seek for so many people to help her. Many were her closest friends that she would have given anything to them. But once they heard that she had problems, they disappear themselves from her world. They began to ask her why can't you be happier? Why can't you think more positive? Its all in your mind? You can control it. She tries her best but the voices still came and attack her every night. Some nights, scars was left behind and the fear of people knowing it too. She couldn't see the light at all in the darkness. The light was fading away and her only thought was to kill herself as it will make it all better to feel like the light is brighter now than it will ever be.
That was when somebody told her if there is darkness in the tunnel, I will hold the flashlight for you. Although it was funny, she could feel that maybe the darkness had other people with her. She began telling the flashlight holder story of her pain and suffering and began to tell her that she wish to die and leave this world. What she didn't know that the flashlight holder wasn't only one person but a group of friends. She fought with her voice more with the flashlight help as the voices hated the flashlight. She tries her best to fight and everyday before she sleeps, she fights. She will fight everyday even its painful and suffering. She knows that flashlight will always be there and although they may disappear, its so that they can let you see the true light at the end of the tunnel.
(PS: the story is purely fictional and for releasing my writer's block hehe. Thanks for all the attention and have a great day )
Just like how the raindrops fall on her head, she feel the coldness like everybody else. While other runs and keep themselves dry, she embrace the rain as it was the only time she could cry. She did this for so many years and it continued up to her university life. All the pressure and the heartaches just mount and mount on top of her till she can't breath or even scream for a help. "Why can't you be more skinny? Why can't you just study more? Why can't you be the perfect daughter I want? Why can't you try to be a more productive person? Why can't you ? Why can't ? Why? " are all she hears everyday. She starts to wander into the sky and seek for answer. But nothing came out. Like a detective she began to wonder why to all the question and tries her best to answer them.
But the answer turns to hate. Hatred to her body, hatred to her mind, hatred to the world and epecially hatred to herself. She began to wonder why she exist and if she leave will anybody care for her? Slowly and slowly she fights the battle at night while remaining happy in the morning and especially in front of people. She was always taught "Don't be weak." The battle at night was so bad it wounded her. With every wound she fought, the darkness of the world start seeping into her mind. The darkness becomes her friends and start to talk to her. It was all fine at first and she gotten used to the voice until the voice started to suffocate her with more hatred to herself and more hatred to the world. The voices often say " Come with me to the other side. Its much more cheerful and wonderful. Don't suffer here anymore." She couldn't help it and she know she have no more strength to fight with her voices. She began screaming for help as she knows she is drowning.
She seek for so many people to help her. Many were her closest friends that she would have given anything to them. But once they heard that she had problems, they disappear themselves from her world. They began to ask her why can't you be happier? Why can't you think more positive? Its all in your mind? You can control it. She tries her best but the voices still came and attack her every night. Some nights, scars was left behind and the fear of people knowing it too. She couldn't see the light at all in the darkness. The light was fading away and her only thought was to kill herself as it will make it all better to feel like the light is brighter now than it will ever be.
That was when somebody told her if there is darkness in the tunnel, I will hold the flashlight for you. Although it was funny, she could feel that maybe the darkness had other people with her. She began telling the flashlight holder story of her pain and suffering and began to tell her that she wish to die and leave this world. What she didn't know that the flashlight holder wasn't only one person but a group of friends. She fought with her voice more with the flashlight help as the voices hated the flashlight. She tries her best to fight and everyday before she sleeps, she fights. She will fight everyday even its painful and suffering. She knows that flashlight will always be there and although they may disappear, its so that they can let you see the true light at the end of the tunnel.
(PS: the story is purely fictional and for releasing my writer's block hehe. Thanks for all the attention and have a great day )
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