Today I feel like writing about friendship because I would like to tell people on my friendship with other people. There are some success story but there are some that failed. I love my friends. I do give them more than I give myself. I sacrifice for them if I was asked to. But sometimes, not everybody are willing to sacrifice for you or even give a comforting word when you are willing to cut your own heart for them. I had a friendship that would suck my happiness out from me. I knew that this friendship is going to be a parasitic relationship and I am the host.
I hate myself for being the host every time. They can do anything to me. Ignore me, scold me for the flaws I have, backstab me or worse just use me and after using me I am trash to them. I know I have flaws but why must you comment on my flaws every time. Why must you do this to me? Did I not treat you well? I encourage you by your side although I know you will scold me in the process and blame me for everything that happen to you.
As a friend, why do you discriminate me when I get good result. You should be happy for me not say me when I tell you I get high marks. You should be understanding that I didn't receive chinese education when I was young, not discriminate me and say that my actions of not taking chinese in examination is naive and not helping the Chinese community. I hate myself when you say things like this. I tried and pretend to act like nothing when you step all over me but you will show me all your faces to me especially when you are angry with me. I hate you but I hate myself more.
Thankfully, you are not my only friend. When you exit from my life, that will be the end. I don't want to be the host anymore. I don't want to suffer every time I am with you or feel like crap every time. Whenever you are with me, my inner demon laugh more and harder as he will use your words and actions to me. Every time you say me, my demon uses this words to me when the night start to fall. I hope I would not find someone like you anymore, I had enough of this friendship and I can't bear with it anymore. Sorry for being so ruthless but I really can't take this anymore.
I hate myself for being the host every time. They can do anything to me. Ignore me, scold me for the flaws I have, backstab me or worse just use me and after using me I am trash to them. I know I have flaws but why must you comment on my flaws every time. Why must you do this to me? Did I not treat you well? I encourage you by your side although I know you will scold me in the process and blame me for everything that happen to you.
As a friend, why do you discriminate me when I get good result. You should be happy for me not say me when I tell you I get high marks. You should be understanding that I didn't receive chinese education when I was young, not discriminate me and say that my actions of not taking chinese in examination is naive and not helping the Chinese community. I hate myself when you say things like this. I tried and pretend to act like nothing when you step all over me but you will show me all your faces to me especially when you are angry with me. I hate you but I hate myself more.
Thankfully, you are not my only friend. When you exit from my life, that will be the end. I don't want to be the host anymore. I don't want to suffer every time I am with you or feel like crap every time. Whenever you are with me, my inner demon laugh more and harder as he will use your words and actions to me. Every time you say me, my demon uses this words to me when the night start to fall. I hope I would not find someone like you anymore, I had enough of this friendship and I can't bear with it anymore. Sorry for being so ruthless but I really can't take this anymore.
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