Wings

     The feeling of having a wings is just a feeling of freedom. Free from restrain and other boundaries. Able to fly up in the sky where the limit has no boundaries. In this 21st century, people are getting more and more depress. Feel sad over the emotional neglect that society have shown us. The society that tell us to be caring at the same time lashes out brutal insult at non-mainstream thinking. Just a feeling of wings is what I dream of and wish to give people. Here is a poem I compose myself.

worries are like each metal bar created
to hold you down
to form a cage
worries will not let you go
it traps you
it lets you dwell in misery
worries can be cleanse only by
forgetting and forgiving others
creating happy memories
which will then weave to wings
flying to the soaring high as
dreams and hope
can be achieved.

    First time composing. sorry if it is bad hehe!!

A trip to Berjaya Times Square

Today, I woke up feeling tired and with a few of my muscle sprain due to yesterday trip to Berjaya Times Square. It was fun although it was so tired.

    Yesterday, I had to wake up in the early morning just to catch the train to kl sentral and meet my friend there. To reach the monorail train station from kl sentral, we need to travel by foot as the bridge linking them is under construction. Due to that, my friend and I was so blur on how to go there. The information counter just ask us to go down and turn left then right. we follow her instruction but we still got lost. There was a part in the journey that we encounter had many foreign workers and taxi uncles. The taxi uncles could see from our face that we are loss. Instead of helping us they tried to shout at us asking us whether we needed a cab to monorail station and tried to approach us. Talk about rude like hell. We were just two girls lost who knows the world is sometimes bad. We were afraid that the taxi drivers might attack us as their body is definitely bigger than us by double so we ignored them. Then finally google map helped us. We just need to walk to the road along Brickfields college to the monorail station.

    Once we reach there the jalan imbi station which is where Berjaya Times Square is located, there is two ways one we need to go under the monorail and another one go down the stairs. We took the wrong way which was the stairs then detour. Finally, we reach Berjaya Times Square first floor and quickly buy a heart pendant for my other friend as it was her birthday two days ago. There were many selection. Then we meet up with her and bought our theme park tickets. There was no crowd there so we played most of the rides by 2 hours. We played the roller coaster, the dizzy ride, the airplane, the 360 ride, bumper cars and even some baby rides. hehe. The games was fun for all of us. We play and scream like crazy. FYI: I didnt scream a lot but laugh more. My friend scream like crazy in the roller coaster and the 360 rides.

    Well then we come out and eat dubu dubu. We shopped and talk of course. And the best thing of all is the memories from there you get. You will really like it there if you are 140cm above as all need that height to play. Cheers!

Food Poisoning

     Sorry that I didn't update my blog yesterday. Well its because of the stupid food poisoning that I had yesterday. Do you know what I hate more than period, its fever. Any guess what I hate more than fever, its fever and food poisoning. Fuck the food poisoning!!! Yesterday I vomited 4 times and diarrhea more than 5 times just on the damn contaminated food I ate before. I had to go to the doctor and take 5 different types of medicine: one for stomach pain, diarrhea , gastric, vomiting and antibiotic. Haih life right!

     Actually this food poisoning was not so bad cause the last one I had was worse. Although I didn't vomit but I had diarrhea for 3 days. I prescribed medicine myself. Western or chinese medicine also I had taken but I just keep purging for 3 whole days. The food was eaten by 2 of my other housemate and they also got the same condition as me. I still remember the uncle who sold this to us. He was the uncle who sold chicken rice and has a white van. He also sells those kuih muih. I am never going to eat that store again. Never in my life ! Anyway thanks for hearing me rant about my food poisoning.

Past Life

     Have you ever wonder what your past life would be like? Have wonder whether you were a woman or man? It may be funny but its still a question. A question that I have also ask myself. I wonder it , daydream it and maybe dreamt of my past life a few times.

     Once, I dreamt I was walking and then I heard a sharp siren like the siren you hear when the enemy plane fly past. I started running and running till I fell into the drain and I woke up from my dream. Weird dream but it doesnt look like any of my ordinary dreams as it is not from my era. Maybe some may say its just my imagination but it was really real to me.

     Why am I certain past life happen? It is because we have reincarnation. Reincarnation is when The concept of reincarnation starts when our souls may experience many lifetimes over centuries, maybe even thousands of years -- has been present in virtually every culture since ancient times. The Egyptians, Greeks, Romans and Aztecs all believed in the "transmigration of souls" from one body to another after death. It's a fundamental precept of Hinduism (from Stephen Wagner).

     FYI: In the religious mythology of China, souls are prevented from remembering their past lives by the deity Meng Po, also known as the "Lady of Forgetfulness", who gives them a bittersweet drink that erases all memories before they climb the wheel of reincarnation.

    Many have said that the place where you were shot or killed was your birthmark. Remember I told you on the running dream when a siren was on. How can I fall down so easily if I was running for my life and when I had no obstacle in front of me but a long tar road. I must have been shot or hurt at my leg. Well my leg has a birthmark. It was at the ankle and its how my mom always say she identify me. Again I wonder if my birthmark symbolizes anything of my past life.

    Besides that, the person you see may come from the past life but different in the relationship. They also said that dogs you rear are those people who promise to pay your deed in the past life. The dogs' past life might have promise to protect you till next life. Therefore they turn into dogs. I am not very sure how true are this must its just nice to know.

    Well, try and ask yourself a question have you wonder how your past life was 

My two grandfathers.

     My two grandfather are no longer in this human world but their legacy stays. Both contrast in personality but I have their genes. They both are mens from the era of wars and brought peace to the chinese people in different ways. I am glad that I know their story and I am glad they were by grandfather despite not able to meet them anymore. I still feels like they are looking after me till now though only one spirit of my grandfather remains on earth and the other one was already reborn based on the intel my family's sifu said.

    Okay ! I will start by my father's father, my ah gong. My ah gong have two name one with the sir name Quek and Kouk but he pass his Quek sir name to my father and uncle. Imagine me having Kuok as my sir name. It must be funny to call me. He was 65 years old when he died due to colon cancer. I was 7 years old when he died. I still have not have fond memory with him. I just remember seeing the photos of him giving me angpows when I was about 5 years old if I am not mistaken. 

    He serve in a Chinese independent school for almost 20 years as a headmaster but the irony is that I am a banana. He was the kindest headmaster the school had. My father once told me that my ah gong paid the tuition fees for poor kids who had no money to do education. He fought for the Chinese education in Malaysia and succeeded. He was a sensible and kind man never to raise his temper at  his children. 

     My father once told me a joke of my ah gong that he was only fined by the police once in his life. It was the day my brother was born and he had no parking in the nearby hospital. He was fined based on his parking. He was too happy that the first son of Quek was born. That event was so hilarious as my ah gong always obey the law but for once he did that. 

     On the contrary my gong gong which is my mother side grandfather used to be a head of gangster in Perak. He was a true China man as he and his father came to Malaysia at British colonial times. His father and my gong gong left their family to find better income for their family as all of their crops was eaten by locust. When they reach Malaysia, my gong gong had to bluff his age to find a job. He was 11 that time but the 'tarik beca' group are only hiring 12 and above boys. therefore my gong gong true age when he died was 80 but in his ic was 79. He had two age.

     When the japanese imperial army came and conquer the land of Malaya my gong gong was tortured as he was suspected to be an intel for the anti- japanese group. He was 14 at that time. It scarred him. He wanted to protect the chinese people and he did he became the Tai Lo for a gangster group in Perak. My uncle told me that every hawker there is willing to pay for his food and drinkds for his protection. He also told me a story on how my gong gong actually save his friends daughter from becoming a prostitute in Penang. I can fell the courageous act of my gong gong. Till now his friend owe a debt to him.

      My gong gong and poh poh also had a very nice love story which i may include later in my blog. I truly love their love story. My father told me my gong gong loves me the most as i was the oldest there. When I was little, I was pushed in the pram by him until I fall asleep every evening. He suffered stroke for 12 years and pass away one night in his sleep. 

     Both my grandfather contrast in life and personality but they remain their goal which is to protect the people and my community. I inspire to be them someday.

Introduction about me !!

Well, today i felt like introducing myself. well i am just a very simple girl who actually have some hatred to perfume and fashion items. I am those kind of girl who doesn't like to go to shopping or if i had to go i would be in the food section hehe. GO FOOD!!

     To tell you all the truth, I am the 'manly' type of girl. I love playing pokemon cards and collect them. I play boy games like basketball that normally girls dont play. Plus, I am also the type of girl who loves to play rpg. FYI rpg is role-playing games. I do have an account in League of Legends. I love using Miss Fortune, Ahri and even Brand. I love mages and support cause normally that what i am good at. I play left 4 dead just for the fun of it. I love killing zombies and seeing how they die. sorry maybe too violent there hehe.
   
     Besides that, my life purpose is to go to the third world country and build homes for them. this is because of my name. i was given a name that wants me to be a useful person in life, community and maybe the world. My name ends with 'ai'. Well many might say it will get love or something like that but the real true meaning of that 'ai' is a kind of herb that is used in the chinese medicine. Now you guys must wonder why i was given such a funny or weird name. Well, its because my grandmother wanted me to be useful for the society and my country. This is because the name 'ai' is a herb that helps cure disease and face many difficulties being accepted into the modern western medicine. my grandmother wanted me to be useful and at the same time able to resist the daily life challenges in life. Seriously, that is why I want to contribute my energy to save the world therefore i studied environmental engineering. Before i die on my deathbed, i want to remember the people i helped. I dont want to remember how much money i earned but that my energy was well spent in somewhere.

     I know that i have no luck in love. thats for sure! any guys look at me, they will think i am just an overweight girl that is quite barbaric but i dont give a damn cause this guys are not worth it! if they truly love you or even admire you they see the inner beauty of a miss independent like me. well, anyway i dont hope for love as it is not really my life purpose. I would not find for it but let it come to me naturally cause those are the true one. I will never be those whore that find love and risk their sanity for it.

Well that all but before i leave i would like to share with you guys neyo miss independent..... cause i love his lyrics hehe

To miss Teng and Siau

To be very frank with you all, I actually am really glad that you guys are my friends. Though you guys might be more innocent than I expected but I love you guys. Wait don't take it so literal. I love you guys as friends. Again to remember how you guys its kinda few sweet moments in Utar PJ. Okay let me start from the beginning. when i first met ms teng, i thought she was a very (sorry to use) nerdy student. she studies excellent perform excellent in class. i remember the first day, i sat next to her in ms bong class. she was a very attentive student but i was the total opposite. somehow and sooner, we got to know each other and i know why she tries to study so hard. Her parents want her to excel well so she tries her best. her principle in studying is completely different from me. i want to study so i can be more independent in life and i want to help the world in the best way before the grim reaper comes and find me. i used to laugh at how funny and innocent she was. sooner we form a study group. we try our best to study but as you guys know it is truly impossible to ur study with a great fren. thru her i met ms siau. this girl makes me chuckles every single time i am with her. this is cause no matter what joke i had on her, she will not retaliate me. she would just laugh with me. its nice to see that people let you laugh the way you are especially when your laughter is different from how society presume a girl to laugh. confession: i laugh quite barbaric. she is quite beautiful actually but i dont know why guys havent dated you. Seriously guys what the hell is your problem? Ms siau still talk to me. actually she inspire me to write this blog when i was feeling angry towards myself and the coursemates i kinda have. i only realized how much writing i mean blogging soothes my mind but i only get to know you guys in such a short time of my life. i hope we can see again. its been 5 months since we met. thought i have not met friends like you in kampar but i know in this world both of you meant a lot to me as friends. if either one of you are sad or angry or even felt betrayed, i hope you can read back my post about both of you and just SMILE!!

3 years of not touching blog. im back

Hi, i am back after 3 years of not touching the blog i just feel like it since my great friend ask me whether i had a blog or not.. well my studies is now great. i am doing what i really love. thought some may think environmental engineering is boring but to me it is truly fun. friends you can say it come and goes but the true one stay in your heart. you hear that miss siau you are really a great friend. well if you wanna stalk me and hear some entertaining story from me you can come find me here in my blog. will update things. i promise i will try and expose my real true feeling in this blog. its all raw emotions. for all the hater , f*** you. i know i am an emotional ass but i dont seek attention at all like the bitch in my course. i only tell this blog to my true friends and yes i do wish they can be with me all the time but this is life. like wat my mom says this is life you gotta live it. i remember a proverb, you were born with pain from your mom, you die with pain, pain follows you but it is how you revert them. so yea life!