I have been so damn tired and sad this few weeks. That sometimes I do wish to end my life. Many persuaded me to go to the counselor and try reduce those suicide thoughts in my mind. Problems come and go but the frequency of it coming and going was just too unbearable to me. Today, I learnt an important message from an wise old man. He said that " Always remember where are you and what are you doing now, if your heart and body is not one, many problems will arise" I believe him because every problem of mine starts when i don't know where am I and also what am I doing. My body may look like sleeping but I am thinking of other things. I tried to practice this! And I came back home and chat with my old high school friends which one of them included my ex-crush or can say my alien.
I concentrated at their chat and didn't think of anything else. And sure enough, I was so happy at one point. I laughed at all their jokes so hard. I love them so much. I don't think I can live without them. They are really the bomb but there was one in particular that make my heart beat so fast.
There was a moment in the group skype session that my alien wanted to tell me something. Then the line cut off. OMG my heart jump and my language went berserk that time. Swear words were flying from left to right and right to left. Finally, I connected to the skype and he say that I look damn different from where I was last time. And he say it in a way that make me feel beautiful. Like usual, my friends teases him and ask us whether we needed a moment or not. And we responded no. And also every joke I told in the group, he laughed so hard. And every time I tell him what am I doing as an environmental engineering student, he says its amazing.
He got an american accent now but I know its him. I had waited for him 6 years to freaking respond me and now he does but I not sure whether is it true. My heart continues to beat so fast and my face blush every time he says what I do is amazing. OMG, I never felt something like this for a long time. I love this feeling. I love to have the hope of being in love and spending my life with someone I love. All those frustration and sadness just went down the drain. I am filled with this happy feeling again......
I concentrated at their chat and didn't think of anything else. And sure enough, I was so happy at one point. I laughed at all their jokes so hard. I love them so much. I don't think I can live without them. They are really the bomb but there was one in particular that make my heart beat so fast.
There was a moment in the group skype session that my alien wanted to tell me something. Then the line cut off. OMG my heart jump and my language went berserk that time. Swear words were flying from left to right and right to left. Finally, I connected to the skype and he say that I look damn different from where I was last time. And he say it in a way that make me feel beautiful. Like usual, my friends teases him and ask us whether we needed a moment or not. And we responded no. And also every joke I told in the group, he laughed so hard. And every time I tell him what am I doing as an environmental engineering student, he says its amazing.
He got an american accent now but I know its him. I had waited for him 6 years to freaking respond me and now he does but I not sure whether is it true. My heart continues to beat so fast and my face blush every time he says what I do is amazing. OMG, I never felt something like this for a long time. I love this feeling. I love to have the hope of being in love and spending my life with someone I love. All those frustration and sadness just went down the drain. I am filled with this happy feeling again......
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