Unseen troll

     Today, I have been driving the whole day and I am really getting too tired and I really need to sleep but shit the writer's block. I just need to pump in the three day's grace album and start blogging to clear my mind. I thought of this story and I hope you do enjoy it. I just wanna get this story out. Title of this post is the unseen troll.

    Spring came and the nasty winter just ended. The winter wasn't particular long for Sarah as all days are the same. She have a special gift. A special gift that nobody had and that everyone thought it was a curse for a human to see. She could see trolls. Not those nasty and ugly ones, those that accompany her and become her companion for the long winter or any other days. Sarah couldn't fit in the society. She was always the odd one out. The one that got pushed away. The one that nobody included only when she is needed. Her family couldn't understand why she could see the trolls. They can't see how the trolls accompany her for many times when the lonely devil snarls at her. She was all alone and all she had were the trolls.

    Though the trolls speak to her and give her companionship, they can't be seen by anybody and understand by anybody. She feels like only her trolls could understand her. Understand her loneliness, understand her darkness and especially her pain. Because of her trolls, she could see how the world was. A cruel world and a world where there was no kindness. Once her trolls played a trick and her and ask her to tell one of her best friends about them. Her best friends couldn't understand it and thought it was a curse for her. They drag her to the university's counselling. There Sarah met Mr Lee. Mr Lee was a calm person. Somehow she trusted him and wanted him to know more about the trolls in her head and only she could she them. Mr Lee somehow told her mother about the trolls and she was too broken as the trust was always broken by someone she trust. Mr Lee then refers her to a psychiatrist that could help her unseen the troll. That's where she begin to long for the trolls. Although they were a dark entity of herself but at least they brought her companionship and never make her feel lonely.

   She starts to eat happy pills as people told her that her trolls was the result of her unhappiness. She eats them every night but still she longs for the trolls. She calls them and wishes them to visit her as now they don't. The trolls ignore her as how she had ignored them. The trolls plays on her broken heart and wings so they could pull her deeper and deeper in the dark and never into the light. Sometimes she wonder if the happy pills can make people happy??

PS: The story is untrue and its just a writer's block  

Flashlight at the end of the tunnel

    Hello, fellow readers, I know I haven't post anything for a long time now. It is because I was so busy with my academic that I forgot my love for writing. Today was a great day. How I hope I can imprint this day to my head forever. If I were to take my last breath on this earth, how I hope that I will remember such memories with my housemate, Miow Chyi and her friends(Janet, Mandy and Jing Wei). I am like having a writer block and I really need to express it out so I can sleep. Here it goes:

Just like how the raindrops fall on her head, she feel the coldness like everybody else. While other runs and keep themselves dry, she embrace the rain as it was the only time she could cry. She did this for so many years and it continued up to her university life. All the pressure and the heartaches just mount and mount on top of her till she can't breath or even scream for a help. "Why can't you be more skinny? Why can't you just study more? Why can't you be the perfect daughter I want? Why can't you try to be a more productive person? Why can't you ? Why can't ? Why? " are all she hears everyday. She starts to wander into the sky and seek for answer. But nothing came out. Like a detective she began to wonder why to all the question and tries her best to answer them.

But the answer turns to hate. Hatred to her body, hatred to her mind, hatred to the world and epecially hatred to herself. She began to wonder why she exist and if she leave will anybody care for her? Slowly and slowly she fights the battle at night while remaining happy in the morning and especially in front of people. She was always taught "Don't be weak." The battle at night was so bad it wounded her. With every wound she fought, the darkness of the world start seeping into her mind. The darkness becomes her friends and start to talk to her. It was all fine at first and she gotten used to the voice until the voice started to suffocate her with more hatred to herself and more hatred to the world. The voices often say " Come with me to the other side. Its much more cheerful and wonderful. Don't suffer here anymore." She couldn't help it and she know she have no more strength to fight with her voices. She began screaming for help as she knows she is drowning.

She seek for so many people to help her. Many were her closest friends that she would have given anything to them. But once they heard that she had problems, they disappear themselves from her world. They began to ask her why can't you be happier? Why can't you think more positive? Its all in your mind? You can control it. She tries her best but the voices still came and attack her every night. Some nights, scars was left behind and the fear of people knowing it too. She couldn't see the light at all in the darkness. The light was fading away and her only thought was to kill herself as it will make it all better to feel like the light is brighter now than it will ever be.

That was when somebody told her if there is darkness in the tunnel, I will hold the flashlight for you. Although it was funny, she could feel that maybe the darkness had other people with her. She began telling the flashlight holder story of her pain and suffering and began to tell her that she wish to die and leave this world. What she didn't know that the flashlight holder wasn't only one person but a group of friends. She fought with her voice more with the flashlight help as the voices hated the flashlight. She tries her best to fight and everyday before she sleeps, she fights. She will fight everyday even its painful and suffering. She knows that flashlight will always be there and although they may disappear, its so that they can let you see the true light at the end of the tunnel.

(PS: the story is purely fictional and for releasing my writer's block hehe. Thanks for all the attention and have a great day )  

Reverse, Pause, Play, Forward and Shuffle

    You people must be wondering why my title today is super duper weird. Well, I discover that the music player setting can show you the rules of life.

     The first rule is to reverse. Remember back your roots, remember why were you born and why you exist on this planet Earth. If you had no idea like me, you can think and assume that you are born with a purpose, Everything happen for a reason. When something happen, its ripple will show its effect. You don't have to be the next noble prize winner or somebody famous to create such ripple. Just like my little sister. She was born out of a mistake but she is not a mistake in my life. She is my rock although it seems the other way around. Without her, maybe I am not in my physical form anymore. Without her, dying doesn't seem so cruel.

    The next rule is to pause. Stop whatever you are doing now and just live in the present moment. For somebody like me, it is an impossible task. I can't live in the present. I always think of future events or dig up some past event. Everyday when I cycle to Uni, I won't look at the beautiful surrounding, instead I think of the future or even the past. Sometimes I giggle while I cycle when I think of a funny situation.

    Okay, so the 3rd rule is play. No matter how hard life hits you, you must know that life move on. If you are sad for 60 second, 1 minute of happiness is thrown out of the window. The father time will not stop time just for you, the clock will continue on ticking and ticking until maybe after you die, you won't feel the effect of time. But as long as you are still breathing, your body clock is still ticking.


    The 4th rule is forward. Although like what I say that we need to live in the present. We must also plan our future. Sometimes, our plan don't work and then frustration and anger comes along but at least you tried. I would like to confess that my schedule of anything will never work. There will always be something that comes along like a bull and crash my schedule. My future plans do seem to frightening to some and some of my friends advises me to change my future goal as its too stressful and too ambitious. For me, its my plan and I will try my best to achieve it although I might die in the process due to exhaustion.

   The last rule is to shuffle. What is the meaning of shuffle? Shuffle back your memories when you feel bored. Remember your favourites and just play them. For me, memory of skies full of stars are the best for me, When I was in camp, I could see the skies filled with stars. Do you know why I love stars? Its because I feel that the stars are accompanying the lonely moon. When I see so much stars, I feel that the moon is not lonely and I am also not alone although some situations make me believe I am alone and useless.

    Well cheers and have a great weekend with loved ones as its Valentine's day and OMG fifty shades of movie is out and I am so bloody in love with the new Avril Lavigne song which is Give what you like!!!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! Fan girl screaming hehehe.

So WHat?!

     Omg with the constant pressure from people to be perfect, I am definitely am somebody who don't care about her appearance or how I should treat somebody. My motto life is if you treat me good, I will treat you the same way. If you cross me once, I will still forgive you but if you cross me twice, that's it Bitch or Son of a Bitch. I won't talk to you anymore. I am not hard to understand. I just don't think that you should be treated the way you think you should get.

    PS: All this anger is because somebody scold me through Facebook. Do you balls?? Scold in front of me please. You are a guy! Even I wonder if I have more balls than you. You think you are great ? You think that you are brave to scold me through internet. At first, I got a bit sad but screw you. I think back of all the great and wonderful people who know me and love me. Who are you to scold me ? The worst part of all is that an unknown person scolded me. I don't even freaking know you?? At least let me talk to you then screw me. WTF?? I am super duper steam up.

     OMG I will show the world that I can do it. Generate those hate people. I am going to prove you wrong!! I may not be as clever as Einstein or as brave as a soldier but I will be me and I will be true to myself. Your insults will break my bones but I will continue to move on and prove that you are wrong. Do you think that you are few of my  haters? Join the community of haters who hate me. Even my own family member hate me. So what? ! 

Great memories are there to be cherish

      Beautiful memories leave its breath in my heart. I really love great memories. Thinking about it make me smile and sometime I will laugh my heart out with these memories. Till now, I had a lot of bad memories but today is just one of those days where memories just become light in the darkness.

     My camp just ended. Although there was bitterness during the preparation was present at that moment, the aftermath of the camp was just great. When all the participants thank you for organizing such great camp, your heart tend to melt a bit. I really love this feeling. I really bring out my inner self that I was hiding from the world. The girl that likes to have fun and not worry. A girl that can M-字腿 or move her butt, dance to oppa gandam style and harlem shake just for the sake of fun. How I wish I could be such a person when I return back to my campus life. I love how I was super high and manage to conduct the program flow according to plan. 

     But that wasn't the only thing that happen to me, beautiful memories continue to flow in. Today I woke up late for my quiz and call my friend. This guy is the most caring friend in the world. I cried instantly when I heard the quiz was over and I can't do it. He tried his best and contacted the lecturer to have a replacement for me. When I took the quiz, I nearly teared up and cry as my heart melted again as the quiz was in soft copy and he helped me write it down and give me some hint like which part is the correct one. I really could feel how warm a friendship was. I wanted to feel something like that for so long. Somebody to care for me. I love when people care for me. I was born in a scenario when care was not there and to feel something like this after a long time make me happy. 

     While I was writing this blog post, tears of happiness was flowing down from my face thinking how lucky I am to have such beautiful memories. I love this moment and I hope it will not go away. I just want these to last for eternity. When I take my last breath from the world, I will remember these memories. The memories that will last in me for a lifetime. 

Life is full of surprises

     Life is truly funny. Just when you think your boring life couldn't be anymore boring, something funny will appear in front of you. You will tend to remember such funny situation when your life journey ends. Yesterday was truly amazing day. I woke up as usual the late morning hours and went to my program meeting. We were practicing to dance to Happy by Pharell Williams and Waka waka by Shakira. If you ask the younger me, I would tell you that I hate dancing. Although I still hate it as I was bad in it, I found the fun of it. Dancing with the funniest people was the best. We laugh like hell but after 3 hours of torment practices, we all fell to the floor out of exhaustion. From that moment, I knew that dancing is hard but its fun.

     After my meeting, I went to New Town as usual to buy dinner. Just along the way, there was an indian girl. She was blocking my road and as I was exhausted, I didn't call her to move aside. She saw me and said sorry. I was going to pass her till I heard

"Can you fetch me to New Town?"

I replied "  Sure, if you want" thinking that she will refuse it.

"Can I?" She answer

I didn't expect that answer and fell down when I turn back to her. 'Great I fell down again from the bicycle' my mind was whispering to me. My palm and arm was slightly bruised and she rushed to me. The funny thing was that after that minute, I was fetching her on the back of my bicycle. She was a new student in Utar and studying Pr. Funny how my usual ordinary day turn out. I met a new person on that day

     After coming back to my room, I found out that my result was released and I saw that I was awarded with president list. I was happy that finally after all my hardwork, I finally got something back for myself. Truth be told, my life journey will never be boring if I close to myself. If I hadn't join any event, if I hadn't ride that girl back home and if I hadn't work my butt of to get good result, my life will continue to be boring.

PS to myself: Try new experience, you will never know what you can get!!

New year new look

    Happy new year !! Life is truly a mysterious. Just a few days ago, I was in Sabah; the land of mysterious. I saw the oceans, mountains and clean streams of fresh water. I love how the locals have simple life. No frustration of work to bring back. They seem happy. I was particularly drawn to the sea. The wave are relaxing and calm at the same time. I wander around the hotel at night just looking at the ocean. I met new friends there. They remind me of my Utar friends as they start speaking in Chinese something that I haven't done very long.  

    When I was in Sabah, I was like a child back. It had been so long that I have been in a trip. I was high at night and being flirty hahahaha. At most traveling with the craziest people. It's a great way to end 2014. A year that changes me and a year that taught me a lot about patience. 

    All I hope for my 2015 is to be more of myself. That's all. I want to relax anytime I want. I want to enjoy life and kiss my past and pain away. I want to explore the world. I want to be me. I don't want words to affect me and I want to be better for future. Well a new year begin and a new life will start!!

The gun

     Well, I am here again posting before my final exam finally finishes. OMG I slack off for 4 whole days and did completely nothing but glee and movies. There was an episode on glee that was about school shooting. All the characters were so afraid that that time as it might be the last time they will be meeting each other. The tension of the episode was so high that you starts to wonder what if something like this happen to you. You are attending in a class with friends, enemies and people who you don't pay attention to and suddenly you hear gun shots. You saw somebody holding a gun and is trying to open the class doors. What would you do?

    For me, I think I will try to hide my fears first then maybe burst into tears as I know life is going to end. Then I thought that feeling of that scenario is what I used to feel. Scared most of the time and knowing that life is hanging by the thread. The only catch was that there is another gun at your hand and you know you can end this once and for all.

  If anyone wanna understand why some people can't get over it, try imagine you in that situation where you are stuck during a school shooting and the gun is in your hand. You may think you have a chance to shoot the shooter but the fear is too overwhelming that you wouldn't think of that. Instead you will think of ending your life. That's the feeling that you feel when you think that the shooter or your demons is stronger than you. You don't think you can overcome it or whatever gender it is especially when you are all alone in the class and not knowing that there are other people around you.

    The fear is the one that test our courage. Courage is never attainable but its tested again and again until you take your last breath on earth and enter to another state. If you have the courage to just shoot the shooter or that demon haunting you, you will have no such fears. You will be better and live a happier life without fear although its ghost will come back and haunt you again after the shooting. 

Shake it off

   No, I am not meaning the Taylor Swift new song but the glee version of the song. I love that song since I was young but I couldn't understand it until last night when I watch back the glee episodes. I finally understand what is the meaning of shaking off the devil in me. I love the lyrics. It meaningful in every way and in every verse. Especially this part:

Every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always the darkest before the dawn

and

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and restart

    The message of the song is that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Remember that its always the darkest before dawn and if you think you have no heart or  a cold heart, do remember that you can restart it. I just love the way this song sings to me. Because of this song, I went for a jog in the park so I can restart my broken shattered heart. When I was jogging, the song of Fort Minor; Remember the Name just popped and sing to me. I will always remember the verse that says:

Its 10% luck, 20% skill, 10% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure and 50% pain and 100% to remember the name. I must motivate myself to pass through this stage of life in that's the last thing I do in this life.

Parasitic Friendship

     Today I feel like writing about friendship because I would like to tell people on my friendship with other people. There are some success story but there are some that failed.  I love my friends. I do give them more than I give myself. I sacrifice for them if I was asked to. But sometimes, not everybody are willing to sacrifice for you or even give a comforting word when you are willing to cut your own heart for them. I had a friendship that would suck my happiness out from me. I knew that this friendship is going to be a parasitic relationship and I am the host.

      I hate myself for being the host every time. They can do anything to me. Ignore me, scold me for the flaws I have, backstab me or worse just use me and after using me I am trash to them. I know I have flaws but why must you comment on my flaws every time. Why must you do this to me? Did I not treat you well? I encourage you by your side although I know you will scold me in the process and blame me for everything that happen to you.

      As a friend, why do you discriminate me when I get good result. You should be happy for me not say me when I tell you I get high marks. You should be understanding that I didn't receive chinese education when I was young,  not discriminate me and say that my actions of not taking chinese in examination is naive and not helping the Chinese community. I hate myself when you say things like this. I tried and pretend to act like nothing when you step all over me but you will show me all your faces to me especially when you are angry with me. I hate you but I hate myself more.

     Thankfully, you are not my only friend. When you exit from my life, that will be the end. I don't want to be the host anymore. I don't want to suffer every time I am with you or feel like crap every time. Whenever you are with me, my inner demon laugh more and harder as he will use your words and actions to me. Every time you say me, my demon uses this words to me when the night start to fall. I hope I would not find someone like you anymore, I had enough of this friendship and I can't bear with it anymore. Sorry for being so ruthless but I really can't take this anymore. 

Best test game ever

     Gosh, today I woke up with the most killing and aching back. I needed to apply analgesic cream all over my body and I slept for 16 hours. Its not the tiredness that I want to complain here but the worth of all this.

     Yesterday, I had my test game for my camp program. I love the epicness of the games. Although there are still many thing to improve but be sure that I enjoyed it. I couldn't believe that I could carry my friend that weighs around 48 kg all around the field for a game. I even carry another 52kg girl with the help of my friend. There is a blindfold game that I needed to find my teammates. This game is quite scary but its super nice because I need to find the boys first. The boys in my team is super funny. They keep yelling. There was another funny part that the boy gave wrong direction and the other person couldn't find him. Hahahaha. I love such things. That is why I continue to join events.

     Study can't give me such things. Only events. I really admire my leader. He really kept it professional. Thank you so much and for the ride. I know after the test game activities, you must be tired but thank you for fetching us back home. 

Light at the end of the Tunnel

     My friend once told me that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, if you can't see the light you have traveled enough yet. I do sometimes doubt her theory but I finally understand it. This past few days, my good and "best friend" came and haunt me this few days. I can't eat and sleep properly. Its mainly because of a lecturer that pushes me too far. I am not sure is it she has high hopes on me or not but every time I meet her, she gives the vibe to me that I need to do better. No matter how high I got, she wants the perfect one. In a nutshell, she is great but she does push me too far till my inner demon started to come out and haunting me a few nights,

      But like what my friend say, there will a light at the end of the tunnel. I saw this great facebook features that promote friendship. I went and click into it and omg the memories just flood into me. I remember all the say details of what happen in that picture but I forgot the message over the years. There was a few inspiring words that my friend had sent to me over the years, Ex:

1. Remember our promise to get be the top ten most successful people in the country.

2. They have Einstein, Archimedes and Barack Obama but I have you

I love these quotes and somehow my inner demon disappear after I teared up after seeing the video. I can't give up. I made too much promise to many people. I need to fulfill the promise. YEA!!! 

Christmas around the Air

     I know you guys must be thinking I am some what crazy? Christmas around the Air when we are now at November. There is still a month to go. I used to love Christmas although I am not a christian. My family do celebrate them and the gifts I get is like the best of all. Although it doesn't value that much in term of money, its the thought that count. I used to love coming back from a Christmas party and open up my presents. Sometimes I will get the funniest things and laugh with my family. I used to ask my parents why don't we have a chimney for Santa Claus to come down.

     Its been a tiring semester to tell you the truth. I feel super duper tired that I actually slept at 8pm and woke up at 3am to do my studies or event things. But the renowned feeling in me after going to  a Christmas event is going to move me the entire semester. I love that I actually get to pretend to be a lady for once. For the first time, I wore a dress to UTAR and ball dance with great friends. I love that I dance with them.

    The day would be just perfect if my friend get to dance with a teacher she had a crush on for so long. Unfortunately the teacher rejected her. If she could dance with the teacher, I will feel so damn happy. I could feel her sadness when she got rejected in front of 520 people and people who known her. I tried to hug her but I know that she will need time and great company. Well, I hope you can get to dance with him one day. I love the way they portrayed that sometimes the most important things you need in life wont look that important now. It may look as small as pebble but that pebble can help you in the future. 

Craziest people I ever meet

     There is some part in your life where you will meet the quirkiest, craziest and just blown away friends. I met them in my program team for my new camp. At first, I thought they are just okay but who would know that they are so freaking crazy. Whenever we are at a meeting, we laugh like baboons. We have the same thinking. We even hate the same person in the committee. We are the fun bunch. If you can't imagine the fun we had, try imagine that one of them actually moan in the car when we are travelling. Like super loud moaning and call our names in his moan. hahahahaha. In this team, we actually have a mama, a boss and two of us. 4 of us make a team hahaha. Its weird that sometimes when you need such entertainment in your life, they come to you. 

     I will always remember that there will be more crazy people I want to meet. I want to find more true friends that will love me for the way I am. I will never give up hahaha. Its just in a matter of time that such people will leave a memory for me. When you feel good, the universe will give you good feeling. Never say bad about people cause one day they might be your greatest help in life. I learned that mistake often but I still makes them. It okay! I am learning as a human being. I will just try to lessen it. 

Somewhere I belong

     The song somewhere I belong from linkin park is one of the best song ever sung by linkin park. The feelings and lyrics delivered is full of impact. It makes me wonder where do I belong to. What group? With group, you will always have the drama. For example, people say I am super chatty and extrovert. Do I belong there? Nope! I also do love my alone time. My time with just music banging into my ears. If I do not have a time for myself, I will be fully exhausted. I still like to do things alone.

    So do I belong in introvert group? Not really!! In a week, I need to come out once with my friends. Just some contact with the outside group is great. Okay now, what about the clever student group that always demand perfection? I can say a fact that I don't really demand on perfection! I just study and get good grades. I am not those achiever that sighs when I didn't get 10/10 for a test. If I know I improved then I will be happy already. So, maybe the super cheerful group? Well for people who don't know me, they will think that I am always happy. There was once a boy who says that I look like I strike lottery everyday. But for those who knows me, they know that I have my emo episodes. I would just shut myself from the world with music. Maybe dance to it when nobody is looking. Music truly relives my soul. Any bad things or memory that happen to me will be gone when I listen to the music. Listening to the emotions and falling in love with the meaning of the song is the best morning pill.

    In fact, I don't belong to anything or any group. I belong to myself. If I do things that pleases me and makes my inner child happy like she got the first candy in her life, I am content. I know when to be chatty, when to be happy in front of people and when to shut myself from the world. I strongly don't believe that I should show any sadness to anybody. They have their own problems. I don't want to be their problem. I want to be the reason why they smile. Not the reason they frown. I love to help people cause I know the situation where you had no help. All the pressure on you and nobody to help you lift it up. The pressure will seem like a very small weight but it will build its pressure over time and you will feel the pressure ten times after awhile. People who have been down this path knows very clear that help should be given if we can. This is because without any of this help, hope seems so dark and life seem so painful. Don't go down that road. You belong to yourself. Love yourself more than anyone else cause its your life not theirs. They can just decide that one day to leave you but you can't.

The bus theory

     I have my own theory on life. Life is a bus. The moment you were born, you are on a journey. You don't know which direction should you go first? To turn right or turn left? The first few miles of the bus ride will be guided by our parents. They teach us to move in the direction that a ethical person should go. They will show us the road that is bad or good and continue to direct you though you mess up. But trust me, never let them be the driver of your bus. If you wish to make a right turn, do make it. They will not be the driver of the bus but you. If they want you to be a doctor and you know deep down you want to be a dancer. Follow where your heart direct you. Your heart is where your dreams belong to.

     Besides that, people that get in to your bus can be a great company or just the absolute worst. People that enter your bus are like associates, friends, enemies and lover. They may stay awhile in your bus or stay there till you reach your destination. Sometimes, great company may just leave along the way and you might be hurt but always remember that when people leave, others will have the chance to come in. Maybe that great company that left you will be replaced by a greater company.

     However, not a bus ride are the same. It might begin on a hard road then goes smooth or vice versa. It might be a U-turn, a roundabout or even a stop at the traffic light. No matter what or how is your ride, you all will end up to the same destination. That destination will be death. Therefore, always remember that its not the destination that count, but the ride to the destination. 

Best feeling ever !!!

     I would say that after all that I had done in my life, the feeling of knowing that you had improved is seriously the best feeling ever. The feeling that you had hit rock bottom or fall down to the face of the earth and manage to get back up is a magnificent feeling ever. I finally got back my target gpa which is 3.8. When I saw the result, I was too happy that nothing can pull me down. After all the things that happen during my last semester and to get such a great result is fantastic. I love this feeling. I do hope I can maintain this high and be a first honour graduate. Hahaha.

     Besides that, I can finally go on a trip to sabah. My high school friends invited me to go to Kinarut with them. All I will do is eat, eat and eat there. I am going to weigh heavier when I come back. The best part of all is that Kinarut is famous for seafood. My favourite. All the prawns, crab, lala, and anything from the sea is what makes my stomach roar. I can't wait to go there since its just another 2 months hehehe. Once I finished my semester then I will go with them.

     The music that I heard during the semester break is the best. Cool Kids by Echosmith is the bomb. I keep singing to it and true enough I wish to be like a cool kid. Oh yah and the another best part was that I finally finished watching American Horror story. Season 2; Asylum. I love how there idea of satan and alien is link cause I am an alien believer. Try talking to me about alien. You won't stop hearing me blabber for hours. Even for my oral presentation, I did existence of alien and got 9.5 over 10 as my lecturer believe the theory after my presentation. BOOYAh!!!! How I wish such feelings can continue and stay with me till the day I took my last breath.  

Inside Out!

     There is a new movie that I am dying to watch. But its coming out next year. OMG, I need to wait for so long to come out. Well, Pixar you done it again. You brought that little girl in me. That little girl was full of glee and all she saw was happiness when the trailer come out. From Toy Story to the most current animated movie, Wall -E. I love you Pixar. Every movie you guys animated is beautiful. They teach us the meaning of life. The struggles, the joy, the love. You guys bring me into a roller coaster of emotion when I see one of the movies especially Monster Inc.



     Well, let get back to the upcoming production which is Inside Out. The movie depicts on how our emotion works. From joy, anger, disgust, fear and sadness, Pixar manage to bring them into wonderful characters. I love the part where joy was holding the girls memories. It makes me wonder that whether my own emotion does that. Sometimes they will hold a memory and make me emotional. Well, its a theory. Inside Out is a brilliant movie and its what I am going to anticipate next year.

PS: The link is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t0A_tZGrYw

Glee!!

To be honest people, I am a gleek!! How can you hate a music club that is struggling and achieve its dream in the process. OMG, I remember how much I love Finn. RIP. I love their songs and they are the best.

Glee is the best. The whole season is about teenage drama and I know that I am no longer a teenager but I miss does drama. I used to watch glee every week and I love it more than ever. The song don't stop believing is the best. Lea Michele have the best vocal in glee. Holla!! Especially Puck !!! The baddest boy in glee oh god. My fangirl inside of me is screaming hahaha!!

Can't wait for season 6 omg omg omg !!!

Best Birthday Ever!!!

    Happy belated birthday to me !! Oh yea! I can say that life is super funny but there is one thing for sure. When you are comfortable with yourself, the people surrounding you will be attracted to the real you and not the fake you. Last birthday, I swallow my pride and change my ways to be more sociable and ended up with a not so grand birthday. Compared to this year, last year was a bit at the disadvantage.

    On my 20th birthday, I got around 4 cakes, 1 ice cream, 1 dinner for my birthday. I thankfully to those who gave me all these wonders in the world. If it wasn't for exam, I would be crying my ass off for getting such kind gestures because normally its the other side. Normally, I will be the one giving these kind gestures but never get anything in return like last year. But karma do work and what goes around come back around. I even got my first present after 3 years of no birthday present. OMG its my favourite pikachu characther. 

     When I got the pikachu, I nearly cried as for the first time someone actually care me and took notice of what I like in life. There is always a few reasons why I love pikachu.

1) Pikachu was the underdog in the whole series in the beginning but become like the main lead in the later series. I was an underdog in school for academic performance, athleticism  and society works but I try my best to learn and learn and become the best.

2) Pikachu didn't ever change although evolving to Raichu would make him look stronger but he never change himself. I don't want to change myself to look stronger. I know that I am stronger.

3) Pikachu is a great friend. There was a moment that Ash got frozen and pikachu stay by his side and cry. His tears shown his true friendship to Ash. I want to make all my friendship just like his. To stand by their side and support them whenever they in trouble!

     What a great day to have my birthday!! The moment you feel when all your problems just disappear and your friends are there to celebrate with you is the best feeling in the world. Tonight, I watch some fireworks and had the biggest joke in my life when my friend told the bus driver to masuk pagar. She pratically just ask the bus driver to go through the gated part of the hostel. If these kind of happy days can last forever, I wish it can be so happy everyday !!