What is life without the decision to make it? Great! Choices and decision again in my life. I am always face with choices that must make sacrifice. The situation is that I wanted to be an exco for a society. I choose FA Society since last year. I really bust my balls to be one of the exco cause I know it will help me get closer to my dream. Since last year till now, I already organize 2 events under this society. The first event was great and I learnt a lot from the first event but whats troubling me is the second event. The second event was an event I poured my heart and soul to it and what return to me is feelings of sadness, unappreciated and being a failure.
I am crying every night and drawing my hand with red marker pen to feel like I am cutting myself. I feel so sad every night. I feel like I failed the whole world and I should disappear. But the thing is that now FA society is now having its Annual General Meeting. I heard a rumor, they want me to be their exco. Finally my wish came true. All my hard work paid off but because of them also I am suffering in silent like this. I don't know what should I do? To give up on my dream and recover or continue suffer but my dream not lost.
I beg my friend to choose it for me but all of them say that this is my life so I should choose it. One of my friend told me that when you want to get something, you should sacrifice something. After I saw that, tears came down from my eyes. I dont want to sacrifice. I know its greedy but I hate to sacrifice. Then another friend of mine told me "Choose the road that will make you regret less and cry less". I finally got to my conscience and chose the road that will abandon my dream to be an exco cause it will make me happier and regret less. I no need cry so long every night and think of killing myself if I am not in par with my expectation to be one of the greats.
I am crying every night and drawing my hand with red marker pen to feel like I am cutting myself. I feel so sad every night. I feel like I failed the whole world and I should disappear. But the thing is that now FA society is now having its Annual General Meeting. I heard a rumor, they want me to be their exco. Finally my wish came true. All my hard work paid off but because of them also I am suffering in silent like this. I don't know what should I do? To give up on my dream and recover or continue suffer but my dream not lost.
I beg my friend to choose it for me but all of them say that this is my life so I should choose it. One of my friend told me that when you want to get something, you should sacrifice something. After I saw that, tears came down from my eyes. I dont want to sacrifice. I know its greedy but I hate to sacrifice. Then another friend of mine told me "Choose the road that will make you regret less and cry less". I finally got to my conscience and chose the road that will abandon my dream to be an exco cause it will make me happier and regret less. I no need cry so long every night and think of killing myself if I am not in par with my expectation to be one of the greats.
No comments:
Post a Comment