I hate the damn feeling of not knowing how to do things!! I hate it when I don't know how to solve the problem or when my answer is wrong. I can't fucking believe to solve one equation, I took like 1 hour to solve it. Why can't I do this easily? Why can't I understand it? I hate this feeling! I feel like a failure every single fucking time I can't solve it.
Who ask me to take engineering course? Fucking problems that sometimes even the damn textbook is wrong. So pissed off on why can't I solved it. The mid term is coming in 2 weeks and I cant even get passed the second chapter. I don't want to get B again. I want to get 4.0 and I know I put such pressure on myself and I don't want to fail. I have no time. I feel like time is laughing at me and racing with me. I can't do the question at all.
My assignment is coming and due. They are coming and killing my time again. I can't even relax for 1 hour as I need to study. I can't study as my head is about to explode. All I can do is sit at one corner and cry. I fucking cry for like 3 times today because I can't solve the problem and I am not able to as I can't even read the damn book. My friends ask me to sleep but I already sleep very long and I can't do the questions. I don't want to be a failure. I had enough failures in my life. One more failure would push me to the edge. One more failure might just end my life. I hate my life.
People ask me to think that tomorrow is a new day but I cry when I reach a new day because I am too fucked up. I can't think straight. If I had my blade, I might feel like I can control my emotion. I can choose whether I should live or not but even that I don't have. All I can do is live another miserable day. I hate you life. You always pull my hand when I fall down and release it before I stand up and I fall the second time. Its 2.50am and all I need is sleep but my mind is running crazy on how much things should I do. Can you just fucking kill me? If anyone crash me with a car, I will thank him or her the next life.
Who ask me to take engineering course? Fucking problems that sometimes even the damn textbook is wrong. So pissed off on why can't I solved it. The mid term is coming in 2 weeks and I cant even get passed the second chapter. I don't want to get B again. I want to get 4.0 and I know I put such pressure on myself and I don't want to fail. I have no time. I feel like time is laughing at me and racing with me. I can't do the question at all.
My assignment is coming and due. They are coming and killing my time again. I can't even relax for 1 hour as I need to study. I can't study as my head is about to explode. All I can do is sit at one corner and cry. I fucking cry for like 3 times today because I can't solve the problem and I am not able to as I can't even read the damn book. My friends ask me to sleep but I already sleep very long and I can't do the questions. I don't want to be a failure. I had enough failures in my life. One more failure would push me to the edge. One more failure might just end my life. I hate my life.
People ask me to think that tomorrow is a new day but I cry when I reach a new day because I am too fucked up. I can't think straight. If I had my blade, I might feel like I can control my emotion. I can choose whether I should live or not but even that I don't have. All I can do is live another miserable day. I hate you life. You always pull my hand when I fall down and release it before I stand up and I fall the second time. Its 2.50am and all I need is sleep but my mind is running crazy on how much things should I do. Can you just fucking kill me? If anyone crash me with a car, I will thank him or her the next life.
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